Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Time does fly...but is that a good thing?

So...my little boy is turning 5 months soon! WOW...it has been five months since I was in the hospital in pain...since I held him for the first time...since I saw my husband kiss him for the first time..since I heard his first scream...since the crying started....since the last time I had a full night of sleep...

Awww..the memories! When I sit and think about the last 5 months it has gone pretty fast. However, every night I think wow this day was really long! :) I don't want to sound like a bad mom, but sometimes I just wish he would grow up a little faster! I wish he would grow to tell me what is wrong instead of crying. I wish he would walk around so I didn't have to carry him everywhere. I wish he would sleep through the night from start to finish...so I could get a decent sleep again (oohhh....how I love my sleep). I wish he ate real food so I didn't have to feed him so much and spend extra money on other food for him...

Now that I totally sound like the worst mother on the planet...I do know and have realized (after I have gotten a nap) that I will never get these months back..and maybe someday I will want them back! I will miss the warm smile he gives and the simple things that make him laugh...when he is a teenager and doesn't want to even recognize that I am his mother in public. I will miss these long nights of no sleep because he keeps crying for no reason....when he is older & I am awake at night worrying about him not being home safely in his bed. I will miss just being able to set him down in one place...and have him still be there when I get back. I will miss being able to kiss him as much as I want...without him pushing me away and being embarrassed! I will miss being able to dress him up as much as I want..and not having him complain! I will miss him just eating what I put in his bottle...instead of complaining or pushing his food away. I will miss him cuddling with me whenever I need a hug or having him just sit and listen when I talk... instead of yelling back or walking away...

Every age has its good days and its bad days...and I have realized that. Somedays I do want the days to fly by and him to just "get a little older so he can do this or that better..." But somedays, I sit down, gaze at my beautiful, happy son and thank God that he has blessed me so richly! I am going to try to take one day at a time so that I don't look back someday and regret that I wanted him to grow up so badly! I hope you will hold me to that!

7 comments:

Meagan Frank said...

What a great challenge for mothers of children at any age! So much harder to do than to say, and sleep is a huge tool to helping keep perspective. Good for you to recognize the blessing! One day at a time for all of us...

Marissa O. said...

Yup I agree! That is why it is the hardest job on earth! :) It is never ending challenges! :)

Name: Holly Bowne said...

You are one wise mama, Marissa! I remember feeling the same way when my baby would cry, "I just wish she could talk and tell me what's wrong!"

But again, everything you mentioned about the things you'll miss are SO true. My babies are 15 and 18 and while I did manage to get some good night's sleep BEFORE they were in high school, today, it's another story. There's a lot to be said for putting him in one place and having him still be there when you get back! ;o)

Cara said...

Great insight, Marissa, and I love how true it is for all of us mothers. I am right there with you, being frustrated, but being so very thankful and grateful at the same time!

Beth said...

I like this post. When my third son was born, he had some birth issues which kept him hospitalized for 9 days. They were life threatening but we got through it pretty quickly. What I did was associate a song with his birth. The song is called "Dancing". When I hear that song, it takes me back to a peaceful time after he was born and after we had done what we could do for him and hoped that he would make it. That wasnt a bad time. It was a "good" time and Im so glad that I associated a song to him and his first few days on this earth because I can go right back to those feelings and memories easily now without really having to try. The song takes me there.

webwings said...

This is the easiest way to earn money sitting at home and earning Hundreds of Dollars Daily.
http://www.onlineuniversalwork.com

Catharine said...

Hey ! Genuinely it’s really possible to earn money online; I really felt that this website is quite impressive and a great idea to earn hundred’s of Dollars daily.

VISIT : http://www.earnglobalmoney.info

Post a Comment

Thank you so much for reading my blog and leaving a comment! Come back again!