Thursday, January 28, 2010

What I used to be...

Being at home all day alone with my thoughts and my child gives me a lot of time to think about what I used to do everyday before this beautiful child came into my life.
I was and still am an athletic trainer. I worked at a Division 1 university for a year with track and field teams. I traveled a lot and was very busy and was very needed. I miss that feeling of being needed and using my knowledge that I obtained from my hard college years. Sometimes I almost feel like those years are a waste now. And I hate that feeling.
You definitely don't get the appreciation/gratitude from a 3 month old that you do from adults that you are helping to heal and get back to regular life again. However, the one similarity is that I can get satisfaction from watching my child grow and learn new things and be able to do new things every day...just as I did as I helped some one get stronger and get back to regular life again.
When I get down about not being in regular society anymore, I just have to remind myself that God has a plan and if he wants me back out there doing what I love again along with being a mommy, then it will come with time. I would love to get back out there and help other people again.
But for now, I love being a mommy. I love helping my little boy grow strong each day and learn new things. He needs me right now and I will be there for him. He is the best (and cutest) patient I have ever had! :)
When I really sit down and think about if I had the choice of going back to work or staying home, I know I would choose staying home. I could not imagine having someone else see his firsts or raise my son. I would miss his smiles, his cries, and all his firsts. This is what gets me through each day until God allows me to add another job title to my name again.
For is just mommy.


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